Hideous Kinky (1998)

Okay, I've never encountered a film so accurately entitled, or rather 50% aptly entitled. THIS MOVIE SUCKED, so hideous makes sense, right? But where is the kinky? No sex in a 90-minute movie that dragged beyond belief, and the only nudity was a shot of Kate Winslet's nip for 30 seconds. Disappointed. I mean, we might as well suffer through that other movie because it surely has more bunnin' to offer.

This movie tells the true story of Freud's granddaughter who moves to Morocco with her two young daughters in the 60s/70s? and bums around. The time frame is unclear without outside research because the only clue in the movie is a hippie babbling on about how much acid 300 acid sheets exactly is. Additionally, the film's soundtrack confuses and attacks, rather than compliments. What do I mean by confuse? I mean coupling Nick Drake and Canned Heat. What do I mean by attack? I mean playing America and that goddamned horse with no name crap. Beyond being disappointed by the soundtrack, I was consistently annoyed with Kate Winslet's character, who just dragged her little kids around Morocco because she wanted to escape British capitalism. That's cool and all, but geez, maybe don't abandon your daughter and let her get Strep Throat all the time. Lastly, I was angry at myself for expecting Harvey Keitel to appear in the film. Only when the movie was over did Marissa + the internet help me realize I was thinking of Holy Smoke (1999). My bad.

Marissa started off watching the movie by predicting that there would be inappropriate "Exoticism Question Mark?" throughout the film, and lo-and-behold, there was. More importantly, and to my delight, Hideous Kinky introduced Middle-Eastern Johnny Depp (Saïd Taghmaoui) -- the only man in the film who seemed to have found that lone Moroccan Urban Outfitters.

2/5