District 9 (2009)

I know everyone loves this movie, but Carmel Curtis [of the Brattle] and I lean towards not liking it. At best, it's just an average movie with substantial political commentary. I even started off liking District 9, since its documentary style was reminiscent of The Office, just plus aliens. For the most part, however, I thought the plot was a little ridiculous and melodramatic. There were a couple of points in the film when I was really excited -- when Wikus teams up with the aliens, when they try to break into the government building, stuff like that.

Despite its commitment to illustrating apartheid and racial tensions via human and alien relations, District 9 was a really racist movie. What a coincidence that the black people in the movie [the Nigerians] just happened to be wearing leopard print clothing, did tribal dancing, were into voodoo, and liked to eat aliens. They were just so animalistic! Ugh, gross, District 9. How could you do this?

2/5

Men In Black (1997)

Okay, this movie is way high brow. See that phallic symbol Tommy is holding? That's an erase memory stick. This movie addresses the issue of memory in a very subtle way, just like Proust and Michel Gondry. That's way existential. Additionally, this movie takes some very strong, bleeding-heart stands on political issues.

1. In the first scene, Tommy Lee Jones speaks out against xenophobia and allows "illegal aliens" from Mexico to enter the US. Immigrants rights, y'all!

2. When Vincent D'Onofrio yells at his wife for not making him a steak for dinner or preparing his cigars and dressing gown, he gets zapped and turned into an alien zombie. Feminisms!

3. Will Smith gets hired to be a Man in "Black" over all those over-qualified West Point grads and the other white fellas in the room. And not just because he's black, but because he's awesome. Anti-classism/privilege and pro-affirmative action and anti-racism!

Thank you MIB for addressing all these high brow/profound issues. I'm sorry you weren't a better movie.

2/5 pizzas