Carnival of Souls (1962)

I guess this is one of those cult horror classics that was made for $20. With an organ-filled soundtrack, Carnival of Souls tells the story of a lady who is accused of having hallucinations and hysteria [of course]. She is an organist for a church, but doesn't believe in god. She is probably a demon! Once when she was making out with a dude, he turned into an even uglier dude. Scary!

The acting is terrible, the plot is terrible, the suspense is terrible. This movie was pretty fun!

3/5 pizzas

Woodstock (1970)

Goddamn! Of course I watched the director's cut of this extremely long movie, bringing the run time to a total of 228 minutes. Guess what? Most of this movie is boring. But being a person who likes at least 10% of the bands at Woodstock, is interested in hippie rock festivals, and enjoys groundbreaking documentaries, I watched the movie anyway. It turns out that the only fun acts to play at Woodstock were Sha Na Na and Sly and the Family Stone. All the others were way to heavy, man. And I still don't like Janis Joplin.

It's not one of those movies that follows the clause that if one doesn't like the bands, one won't like the movie. This isn't the Last Waltz. The best parts of Woodstock is the interviews with the fans, the crazies that were tripped out. It was really neat to watch the planners and hear what they all had to say. It's cool to remember that the festival cost millions of dollars to put on and didn't bring back any money. Nice. And the best line of the movie is an early announcement to the crowd: "Don't eat the brown acid." I guess it was bad or something.

What this movie mad me realize was that it's okay to have OCD. I will never use a Porta Potty, roll around in mud, share joints with 500,000 strangers, or bring my baby to a three-day festival. I also figured out that if I did go to Woodstock, the experience + the acid sure as hell would've cured my OCD.

3/5 pizzas

Cleo from 5 to 7 (1962)

Agnes Varda's Cleo from 5 to 7 marks a landmark in my movie-viewing -- it's the 250th movie I've seen this year, so great job. I was excited to see this movie because it is about a woman and it is directed by a woman. For some reason, France is kind of okay in making sure that films by ladies' movies get produced and stuff. Agnes Varda is one of the most important directors in the French New Wave and I had never seen one of her movies, so I watched 2 today.

Cleo from 5 to 7 stars the lovely Corinne Marchand. The flick captures 2 hours of Cleo's life, almost in real time, which is cool. As she awaits the results of whether or not she has cancer, she roams around Paris and has hella depression. She is also narcissistic and a bit annoying. The movie is for sure nice to look at, but it's difficult for it to avoid dullness since it a movie about nothing.

3/5 pizzas

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)

It's so mad that they maddened it fourfold! Alright, everyone, this is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. I hadn't seen it in about 10 years, and it completely hit the spot. Basically it is incredibly silly and goofy, but 100% fun. I know some of you are thinking that you don't want to invest 192 minutes in a movie recommended by me - a person who likes certain other long ass movies. It's a Mad x 4 World is a super great screwball. Here are my reasons:

1. It features Buddy Hackett, whose face is above. He flies a plane in the movie with Mickey Rooney while the Millionaire from Gilligan's Island/Mr. Magoo [the actual pilot] passes out drunk from having too many Old-fashioneds. Look how scared he looks! He is my favorite character in the movie because he sounds like he has marbles in his mouth.

2. Did I mention that basically every comedian from the early 60s is in this movie? Every. Single. One. The people I mentioned in #1, Milton Berle, Spencer Tracy, Jack Benny, Don Knotts, Phil Silvers, Ethel Merman, Sid Caesar, Jerry Lewis, and a billion others. And Jimmy Durante literally kicks the bucket when he dies.

3. This movie is goofy. There are better-than-the-French-Connection car chases, cars that sink, cars that fly, explosions in basements, dynamite, blow torches, the man-handling of a mother-in-law, duct tape, cacti, and Carl Reiner.

4. This guy cries a lot and only wears hot pants. Watch it.
5/5 pizzas