It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)

It's so mad that they maddened it fourfold! Alright, everyone, this is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. I hadn't seen it in about 10 years, and it completely hit the spot. Basically it is incredibly silly and goofy, but 100% fun. I know some of you are thinking that you don't want to invest 192 minutes in a movie recommended by me - a person who likes certain other long ass movies. It's a Mad x 4 World is a super great screwball. Here are my reasons:

1. It features Buddy Hackett, whose face is above. He flies a plane in the movie with Mickey Rooney while the Millionaire from Gilligan's Island/Mr. Magoo [the actual pilot] passes out drunk from having too many Old-fashioneds. Look how scared he looks! He is my favorite character in the movie because he sounds like he has marbles in his mouth.

2. Did I mention that basically every comedian from the early 60s is in this movie? Every. Single. One. The people I mentioned in #1, Milton Berle, Spencer Tracy, Jack Benny, Don Knotts, Phil Silvers, Ethel Merman, Sid Caesar, Jerry Lewis, and a billion others. And Jimmy Durante literally kicks the bucket when he dies.

3. This movie is goofy. There are better-than-the-French-Connection car chases, cars that sink, cars that fly, explosions in basements, dynamite, blow torches, the man-handling of a mother-in-law, duct tape, cacti, and Carl Reiner.

4. This guy cries a lot and only wears hot pants. Watch it.
5/5 pizzas

The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer (1947)

I took me many years to watch this movie because its title, or rather one word of its title, has always perturbed me: Soxer. Much like I used to get confused about the pronunciation of a friend's last name -- was is Mar · koe` or Mark`· oe? -- I continue to stumble over the word "soxer." How can soxer sound like soccer? Does that X just dissolve? Alternatively, what is a sockser? Resigned to confusion, I turned on the flick and allowed myself to swoon for Cary and Myrna.

This movie was good, not great. It's a screwball comedy that lacked some wit. The plot, in fact, is a bit disturbing: Myrna Loy's baby sister falls in love with Cary Grant [duh]. Cary Grant has legal charges brought against him, but Judge Myrna Loy gives him the chance to shake the charges by dating her lovesick sister. Apparently, by dating her, Cary Grant will help Shirley to get over him. Question mark there, as Cary is a fox. Anyway, Shirley Temple is 17 in the movie [underage, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the law], and Cary Grant is 35. A little icky, right?

Nevertheless, Cary Grant is just as charming as usual, and Shirley Temple is just as bothersome, especially as her twenty-year-old self. Myrna Loy is not in the film as much as she deserves to be, but her character is slammin: She is a judge, people. A judge. Just like Sotomayor -- ever heard of her? I'd say that's pretty noteworthy for 1947.

Other characters include these guys who are way too obsessed with double-breasted suits. Faux pas, fellas.

3/5 pizzas