Cold Souls (2009)

Welcome to a movie I felt like I've seen before. Think of Eternal Sunshine [memory erasure vs. soul extraction] meets Synecdoche, NY [overpowering physical ailments] plus Charlie Kaufman's alter ego Nick Cage in Adaptation who has anxieties. Basically, this movie's got all the shpilkes of Charile Kaufman plus the shpilkes and narcissism of Woody Allen. That's not to say Paul isn't likeable and complex, let alone kind of looking a bit better than ugly since he's rockin that beard.

Obviously, Sophie Barthes [the director and probably Roland Barthes's cousin or granddaughter] likes Kaufman movies, but so do people who only consume liquid mustard. Lots of people like old Charlie. This is not enough of a reason to like this movie. And I'm still not all clear on how I feel about it. I definitely like the concept of being able to remove one's soul because it's getting to heavy, man. And I like the idea that soul trafficking is a business maybe inspired by a certain band that we like. Unfortunately, I don't love Paul's character in this movie because we don't get to know him all that well. I thought too much focus was placed on the business of soul trafficking in Russia. Luckily, a pivotal Russian actress was in this movie, so I was happy. Plus it had Lauren Ambrose and David Strathairn!

4/5 pizzas

Supervixens (1975)

Having seen only one other Russ Meyer movie [Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!], I kind of wanted to see others, since I like watching movies and since 90% of movies from the 1970s are some kind of 'sploitation movies. That is an actual statistic.

As far as I can tell, Meyer's movies are mostly misogynistic, silly, and not that exciting [even though I like Faster Pussycat just okay]. Nevertheless, I watched Supervixens. What a bad decision! Lots of misogyny and violence, people. NOT COOL. Also, this movie was over 2 hours and extremely dumb. It's in the running for one of my top 5 least favorite movies.

0/5 pizzas

Three Kings (1999)

Disappointed! I had semi-high expectations for this movie since someone with high movie correlation to me recommended it. I didn't know all too much about this movie except the preview for it back in the day featured an actor singing "We three kings be stealin' the gold." Very catchy. Besides having the divine George Clooney [and the not-divine-but-impressive Marky Mark and Ice Cube] in it, Three Kings was a pretty lame movie. It's way over 2 hours - that's faux pas #1. Next, it pretty much glorifies American troops in the Gulf War -- f.p. #2. And most importantly, the story is not that exciting.

The film does, however, jumpstart the careers of some very important Arrested Development stars.

And surprise! Spike Jonze is billed as the #4 cast member. Weird.

2/5 pizzas

Thirst (Bakjwi) (2009)

This is my favorite movie that came out this year. Look how hot it looks.

Moon was good, but this was great. As a fan of Oldboy, I was really excited to see Thirst. If the Landmark Theater had not wronged us*, then I would have had a perfect movie-viewing experience. The film itself is beautiful -- a bunch of really striking shots, gorgeous color contrasts [blood against a neon-white room], etc. Here is what I am talking about:

And the suspense! And the horror, oh the horror! Thirst is basically the South Korean version of The Thornbirds + vampires. WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR IN A MOVIE? Kang-ho Song and Ok-vin Kim are really great in this too. Look what great chemistry they have!

I won't give a plot overview because I don't want to ruin anything. But seriously, go see this. It's top notch.


*I officially hate the Landmark Varsity Theater in the Univ. District of Seattle. First of all, since it was a Landmark, we thought they'd give us free popcorn. WRONG. Turns out we scarfed down that extra-large bag of popcorn before the first credit for nothing. When we tried to get our rightful refill, they said "Those are the breaks." Unbelievable. Then, we noticed that they do a "Can you name these ten head shots of Hollywood stars" contest. Of course, we guessed all the ones on the sample card outside, but when we went in there were different starlets. Plus you can't win your free tickets on the spot. Then, they didn't give a student discount. Then they made us go to the 3rd floor for bathrooms. Otherwise, the theater is magnificent and it's my favorite in the city [aesthetically speaking].

5/5 pizzas

La Pointe Courte

Another French movie? What's going on, right? Well, I wanted to finish watching all of the main Agnes Varda movies, and now I have, so great. This is her first film and it's about a couple who maybe have some problems. It takes place in a small fishing village that is blighted with BOREDOM. It was difficult to watch this 80-minute movie because it was dull with a capital D. The only good thing about this movie was a series of weird shots that resemble the photo above. Also, as Carmel pointed out, Varda likes for her male actors to have the same haircut she does [see the above dude].

2/5 pizzas

Love and Death (1975)

Besides Bananas, I am not much of a fan of the Slapstick Woody Allen movies. Yes, we can tell you like Russian novels. Yes, we can tell that you like Ingmar Bergman. Yes, we can also tell that you still hate women. There were just too many jokes about breasts and pedophilia in this. Oh well.

2/5 pizzas

Sophie's Choice (1982)

This may be Meryl Streep's best role, people. I love this movie so hard. Despite my affections for this movie, I was not really in the mood to watch it again since I remembered the detrimental effects it has had on me. I got sucked in when my pals watched it, though, because it is so good.

That is all I have to say.

5/5 pizzas

Streets of Fire (1984)

"I don't ask for much, so do this one thing for me: make this the first movie in your queues. I need everyone I know and care about to watch it, so i can disown anyone who dislikes it."
-- Wm. Miles Donovan

Hmm, troublesome. Our Consigliere Miles Donovan advised that we watch this movie, as he loved it and it is a top favorite of a local movie theater owner that we love to hate. I was promised awesomeness -- sledge hammer duels, motorcycles, explosions, etc. Usually I am the Debbie Downer that dislikes these kinds of movies, while my other, more open-minded friends give them a break. Fortunately, our group at the Maxi Pad concurred that Streets of Fire, despite its 15 minutes of awesomeness, was categorically not awesome. The sledge-hammer fight scene featuring Willem Dafoe is cool, but it barely lasts 5 minutes. Most of the movie was pretty slow and dare I say it -- boring. I'm not alone in this school of thought, either.

Things I loved about this movie: cameo from The Chief of television's Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?; Rick Moranis, an excellent soundtrack featuring the song "I Can Dream About You"; maybe this movie was inspired by a Bruce Springsteen song; an extremely lesbian-ish co-protagonist.

Here is a song that is also good by Hall and Oates:

2/5 pizzas

Reality Bites (1994)

Okay, people. I have been known to pontificate that the best movie from the period of 1990-1995 is Pulp Fiction. I still believe this, but another pre-Titanic 90s movie that I love is Reality Bites. Not by any means is this movie a quali-T movie, but it is awesome and important to me, okay? I often like to pretend that my hay-day was in the early to mid-nineties, but really I was just in first grade then. Reality Bites is incredibly 90s-tastic. What other 1994 movie features floral dresses, a Violent Femmes cover, and Diet Cokes? Basically, Reality Bites is the movie version of My So-Called Life: The Post-College Years.

This movie is the perfect Ijustgraduatedfromcollegeandiamkindofaninterestingpersonwhocantfindajob movie, so I made my friends watch it in our movie/blanket room the other day. We can totally relate.

As many other young laydees, I identify with Winona Ryder. That's probably because of her other movie, but she's okay in this one too. Unfortunately, Carmel got to be Winona because she is interested in broadcasting. Sade was Janeane Garofalo, who's into vintage, Saturday Night Fever [I'm into SNF as well], works at the Gap, and is successful with the fellas. I was Ethan Hawke [even though I'm really Winona] because he works at a newsstand, steals snicker bars, and reads fancy books. Chris was Steve Zahn's character, who besides being gay, didn't really contribute anything to the movie. Sorry, Chris.

Another thing we all had in common with the characters was that we love convenience stores and how they always sell Big Gulps.

Anyway, if wish you were old enough to have seen Kurt Cobain's death on MTV news, then you should watch this movie. Ahem, it's directed by Ben Stiller!

5/5 pizzas

Destry Rides Again (1939)

Look at that mise-en-scene, people. That is a great shot.

I hadn't seen this movie in at least 10 years, so I thought it deserved a second viewing. Turns out, it did and I really liked it. Marlene Dietrich [who is billed before James Stewart] plays a dance hall woman/saloon singer and the unofficial mayor of this town that has gone to hell in a hand-basket. Her boyfriend is played by Brian Donlevy who plays one of my all-time favorite villains in Beau Geste [see it]. He is a really crooked gambler and murderer, but he sports the perfect, pencil-thin villain mustache.

Jimmy Stewart is no slouch, either. This is one of his early-ish roles, so he is looking like a youthful, healthy babe. My friends and I have a theory that Jimmy Stewart went through a time warp or something, because he goes from Mr.-Smith-Goes-to-Washington Jimmy Stewart straight to Rear-Window Jimmy Stewart without really aging in between. Where are his 30s and 40s? Anyway, he plays this awesome deputy that comes to clean up the town, except he doesn't believe in guns, but instead "peace" as he puts it. Awesome. He is super smart and even eventually wins the bad guy's girlfriend's heart because he is so awesome.

My favorite part in the movie and the only scene I remembered from my first viewing is when Jimmy Stewart suggests to Marlene that she should wipe away some of her makeup since she is so naturally beautiful. This scene is actually really moving, people.

4/5 pizzas