Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)

Man, two Monty Python movies in one week? I finally got to see two of the biggest movies of all time! I thought I'd be a 100% hater, but I totally wasn't. This movie, like Holy Grail, was pretty funny. I'm no D&D teenage boy or anything, but these movie are not bad. John Cleese is also pretty pretty hilarious.

I like to think of them as British predecessors to Austin Powers. They're full of bathroom humor, sex jokes, historical commentary, people playing multiple roles --- basically all the elements I love from Austin Powers. For example, I heard myself snorting when a character kept mentioning his old Roman pal Biggus Dickus. Latin jokes are so funny!

3/5 pizzas

High Sierra (1941)

Another movie where Bogie is a gangster? Man, I feel bad for that fella. He was more type-cast than Freddie Prinze Jr. as an illiterate teen heartthrob! Here's the deal: This movie was just okay. To be frank, I thought it was a tad boring. I can't really recall the plot, except that Humphrey is a ex-con who gets involved with a bank robbery deal and murders some folks. Not too original, right? The excitement actually peaks during the treacherous mountain-climbing scene at the end [hence the title].

Another thing: It was nice to see what Ida Lupino looks like [because I just never have time to Google Image Search her].

3/5 pizzas

Adventureland (2009)

I finally got a chance to catch this, and I'm glad I did! So what if it features a Replacements song in the credits? I'm not biased. I thought this was really good. Besides taking place in the 80s and sporting the talents of Martin Starr [he's the best, isn't he?], this movie actually really reminded me of Freaks and Geeks. It's kind of about relationships and making out, but it's also about depression and problems and living in a land-locked town.

Also, having just graduated from a university and having found a minimum wage job, I can totally identify with James, the protagonist. Plus I love David Bowie and Big Star just like he and Em do! Best friends!

4/5

SLC Punk (1998)

A movie about punk rock in the 80s?! Yes, please! Blue, green, and black combat boots? That sounds okay. After the credits, however, I realized this movie was pretty dumb. It's about people who are obsessed with their identities as punx to realize that they are unintelligent, and just not special. All they do is philosophize about anarchy? and corporate control. No big deal, guys. Lots of people think about these things; lots of people dye their hair blue [who are way cooler than you]. You're not that great, Matthew Lillard!

One good thing about this flick: a young, dweeby Jason Segel.
2/5 pizzas

World's Greatest Dad (2009)

I'm confused about my feelings for this movie. At first, I absolutely hated it. It seemed entirely too sad and way too dark. Examples: Robin Williams is a failed writer who is a high school poetry teacher. He only has 3 or 4 students in his class, however. And he's a bit tubby. And he's actually a bad writer. Sad, right? Okay, now we learn that Robin's son is a huge asshole: he says the F word every five minutes, beats off with the door open, and is misogynistic, homophobic, and racist. Something terrible happens, and it's super dark and sordid, and maybe it's supposed to be funny. Anyway, the movie gets a little better because Robin does some morally questionable things and takes pleasure in that. The movie doesn't actually get better until the end: when Robin Williams swims NAKED and we see his D!

The most important thing about this movie was its usage of a song I usually hate because Queen is involved in it. The application of "Under Pressure" in this movie, however, was fantastic -- played at the exact right moment. It was World's Greatest Dad's saving grace. Great job, BowQueen.

2/5 pizzas

Surrogates (2009)

Somebody got oooooooooold. That's okay. Everybody ages. No big deal. You know who aged really well? James Cromwell! He's in this movie too. Thank god! Besides an excellent car chase scene and the privilege of looking at a total hottie, this movie was a bit lame.

It does present an extremely attractive-looking future for me, though. Think about it -- what if we all had the option of being 100% agoraphobic, wearing our pajamas all the time, never leaving bed, and having "surrogates" live our lives for us? By the way, our doubles could be way hotter and could do parkour all of the time. Very attractive, right? Right.

Another okay thing about seeing this movie was that it was free. My wife has a very prestigious job and often gets free passes to red carpet events, so we got to see this for free! Before the screening started, a radio DJ decided to be a jerk and throw free tshirts at people. The way people could win a prize was to name any 4 Bruce Willis movies [besides Die Hard 1-4]. Guess how hard it was for people to do this? Nearly impossible.

2/5

Baby-Sitters Club (1995)

Okay, okay -- so I maybe remember more than a few lines from this movie and maybe I watched it more than once in 1995. I didn't read the books though. That would be way lame.

Anyway, here is why I kind of like [or like like like] this movie:

1. Directed by a lady! Melanie Mayron is the best actress from 1987-91 and she is my favorite character on Thirtysomething.

2. Peter Horton is still a babe! He's also from Thirtysomething, but more importantly he cares about sustainability. He loves electric cars, y'all.

3. Okay, I changed my mind. I barfed all over myself because this was so corny.

4. The only way to redeem this movie is to read it as a tale about a bunch of little lesbians exploring their sexuality at lesbian summer camp. There is a lot of flannel. Come on, people. I'm right here.

3/5 pizzas

Sept. 1-Sept. 21 Recap

Okay, here is the deal. I have been a terrible interneter in the past 3 weeks -- mainly because I moved, started working full-time, and did not have the internets at home until last Thursday. I really don't feel like blogging about the back log of 30 movies that I watched, so I'm just going to give a snippet of a review for each one. This is my blog and I can do whatever I want, so deal with it, 5 readers. In other news, I'm about 30 movies away from reaching my 365 goal, but I'm slowing down a bit because I've been abducted by some television shows. Whatever, here goes.

Julie and Julia (2009): 3/5 pizzas; only Julia Child's story was interesting

Con Air (1997): 5/5; BEST MOVIE EVER

Butterfield 8 (1960): 3/5; Elizabeth Taylor lookin fine in a boring movie

Mon Oncle (1958): 2/5; too wacky, too French

Battle of Algiers (1966): 4/5; first-time viewing, very powerful
A Hard Day's Night (1964): 5/5; one of my all-time favorites; The Beatows!

3 Days of the Condor (1975): 5/5; Basically the gentile version of Marathon Man, this was extremely exciting. Robert Redford was lookin fine, even though he hates poor people at Sundance.

Return of the Jedi (1983): 4/5; first-time viewing, and my least favorite of Episodes IV - VI

Amelie (2001): 5/5; one of my all-time favorites; it's too bad everyone I love hates this movie

North by Northwest (1959): 5/5; FAVORITE MOVIE EVER; CARY GRANT>JIMMY STEWART

Dazed and Confused (1993): 1/5; besides it's awesome, mostly-Kiss soundtrack, this movie was dumb and patriarchal

Mrs. Miniver (1942): 2/5; incredibly boring movie about British folks; too bad the actors weren't British

American History X (1998): 2/5; shock value for the sake of shock value

Virgin Spring (1960): 2/5; a lessor favorite of Bergman's

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): 3/5; a 9/11 tradition; watching and singing along is fun, but the movie is just okay

My Left Foot (1989): 3/5; Daniel Day-Lewis is the bomb; this movie is just okay

(500) Days of Summer (2009): 2/5; I barfed all over myself during this viewing; SOMEONE ELSE IS NOT YOUR SOULMATE IF THEY LIKE THE SMITHS. MOST PEOPLE LIKE THAT BAND.

Death Wish (1974): 2/5; Jeff Goldblum is a RAPIST in this???? My heart breaks.

Murder! (1930): 3/5; an unmemorable early Hitchcock; I couldn't remember I had already seen it until half-way through it

Skin Game (1931): 2/5; another ealry Hitchcock; boring borign boring; not about racism, surprisingly

Short Cuts (1993): 2/5; One of Robert Altman's longest movies; I decided I'm not a fan of his

Rich and Strange (1931): 2/5; an even more boring early Hitchcock

Big Fan (2009): 5/5; one of the best movies of the year; just as sad as the Wrestler, but even more gritty. Staten Island

Pootie Tang (2001): 3/5; Chris Rock is pretty funny sometimes

Big Man Japan (2007): 3/5; some great monster fights, but the non-fight parts were boring

The Red Shoes (1948): 2/5; how did I not know this was a musical-dancical???

The Petrified Forest (1936): 4/5; Humphrey + Bette Davis = a charismatic cast

Manxman (1929): 2/5; an even more boring Hitchcock; maybe I am getting close to finishing his flicks

Dont Look Back (1967): 3/5; Bob Dylan a narcissistic bloke in this. Don't be so mean to Joan Baez!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975): 3/5; first-time viewing. Finally! I don' t hate it. I even loled.

Ace in the Hole (1951): 2/5; even though Billy Wilder is one of my faves, this movie was pretty much a let down.

Total: 31. Boom!

The Hurt Locker (2009)

I was a big fan of this movie going in. A movie about the Iraq war directed by a lady? Excellent. It basically lived up to its reputation [a reputation formed from 3 or so friends] that it maybe will be the best film about the war in Iraq. Besides being very tense, The Hurt Locker did a good job about making you remember that everything is terrible and a lot of people die.

The best thing about this movie experience was that I saw it in my favorite? Seattle theatre, and that just as this violent movie commenced, my nose starting gushing blood. Crazy!

4/5 pizzas

Casino (1995)

This movie was 3 hours. That's way too long for a movie that is just trying to be Goodfellas in Las Vegas. I was bored! Also, Bobby D. is supposed to be 43 in this movie, and he looks about 70. What's wrong with this picture?

2/5 pizzas