Piccadilly (1929)

Okay, I watched this movie because some feminist blog or another mentioned it and said it was okay. Made in 1929, Piccadilly tells the story of a dishwasher-turned-dancer [Anna May Wong]. Thumbs up, movie, for having an Asian protagonist who is a lady, and two thumbs up for actually employing an Asian woman [unlike every other movie]. Netflix's description promised exciting sex, murder, and nudity [the DVD sports the image of a topless woman], but guess what? No nudity, no sex, and only the mention of a murder. This movie was intensely disappointing and felt like four hours instead of two.

2/5 pizzas

Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)

Man, two Monty Python movies in one week? I finally got to see two of the biggest movies of all time! I thought I'd be a 100% hater, but I totally wasn't. This movie, like Holy Grail, was pretty funny. I'm no D&D teenage boy or anything, but these movie are not bad. John Cleese is also pretty pretty hilarious.

I like to think of them as British predecessors to Austin Powers. They're full of bathroom humor, sex jokes, historical commentary, people playing multiple roles --- basically all the elements I love from Austin Powers. For example, I heard myself snorting when a character kept mentioning his old Roman pal Biggus Dickus. Latin jokes are so funny!

3/5 pizzas

Match Point (2005)

As much as it pains me to begin my blog by reviewing Match Point, that's just how it worked out. It is the first movie I watched today, and today is the day, so whatever. As I was already warned by my kin and fellow moviegoers, Match Point was just not that great. I figured I'd give it a try, as I love that guy who made it, and I try almost all his movies. Even the oh-so-terrible Broadway Danny Rose that was filmed in my New Jersey neighborhood and featured my grandmother's pasta. No big deal.

So I gave it a try, and this is what I gleaned from the viewing: 1. Scarlet Johansen is not my favorite, and especially not in this movie. Any character who willingly says "I'm sexy, not beautiful" in an English pub just sucks. I hope I'm not setting the wrong tone for this blog by commencing with how much I disliked a lady character in a movie. Enough people hate ladies without me contributing, but that just gives you an idea of how annoyed I was by Nola Rice [S.J.]. 2. There are about a gagillion movies about rich British/American couples bunnin' that are better than this one, so bunnin' could not be it's saving grace. 3. Mainly, I just thought it was a mediocre movie with dumb characters. [Note my eloquent reviewing style.] It's pseudo-suspenseful soundtrack didn't make me anxious about impending doom, but just made me antsy. Movies like this should not be over 120 minutes, Woody. When I get to remake Match Point, it will look and sound more like Mario Tennis and will star James Cromwell and Isabella Rossellini.

2/5 pizzas