Ed Wood (1994)

Isn't it time I saw this movie? I know Tim Burton has only made one other good movie [also about an Ed], but geez I should've gotten to this earlier. This one was pretty swell. Having only seen Plan 9 From Outer Space, I was not familiar with Edward D. Wood, Jr., so this movie was edumacational. 5 points. Next, it featured a SATC cast member. 5 points. It's a movie about movies, so 5 more points, and it features tales about other actors too [Bela Lugosi, people]. 5 points. Now add Johnny Depp looking like a babe, a narrative that maybe briefly addresses gender in a non-horrible way, and low-budget horror flicks and you got yourself a movie that has racked up a 1000 points. Okay, 4/5 pizzas. But seriously, this was pretty fun.

4/5 pizzas

Surrogates (2009)

Somebody got oooooooooold. That's okay. Everybody ages. No big deal. You know who aged really well? James Cromwell! He's in this movie too. Thank god! Besides an excellent car chase scene and the privilege of looking at a total hottie, this movie was a bit lame.

It does present an extremely attractive-looking future for me, though. Think about it -- what if we all had the option of being 100% agoraphobic, wearing our pajamas all the time, never leaving bed, and having "surrogates" live our lives for us? By the way, our doubles could be way hotter and could do parkour all of the time. Very attractive, right? Right.

Another okay thing about seeing this movie was that it was free. My wife has a very prestigious job and often gets free passes to red carpet events, so we got to see this for free! Before the screening started, a radio DJ decided to be a jerk and throw free tshirts at people. The way people could win a prize was to name any 4 Bruce Willis movies [besides Die Hard 1-4]. Guess how hard it was for people to do this? Nearly impossible.

2/5

Gattaca (1997)

I missed out on this movie when it came out because I was only watching one movie at the time. I just didn't have time for riff raff, you know? So twelve years later, I watched Gattaca. It was recommended by a pal who made a really good joke about the movie: "What is Al Pacino's favorite Sci-Fi movie? Gattaca! Gattaca!" Funny, right?

It turned out to be pretty good. It's no Battlestar Galactica [Al Pacino's favorite TV show], but it does have a similar title. Here is a plot summary: It is the not-so-distant future and parents have control over what kinds of genes their children have -- eugenics type stuff. Ethan Hawke wants to work for Gattaca and go on a space mission, but his genes ain't good enough, so Jude Law lends him some blood/piss samples. Uma Thurman is another employee of Gattaca, and she wears her hair in a bun the whole movie. Also, Gore Vidal plays the director of Gattaca. Weird! Basically, this movie has the most good-looking Sci-Fi cast around, even considering that Ken Marino has a cameo.

My main dislike is that there was too much blood/intravenous/veins/injection action going on in the movie. I concede that this is my own fault for not loving veins and not the movie's, so sorry I guess.

3/5 pizzas

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)

Best. Movie. Maybe Ever. It features a babe, too.

See, I do like Sci-Fi.

5/5 pizza the huts