The Basketball Diaries (1995)

In 1997, I made a vow to see all of Leonardo DiCaprio's movies. Over the years, however, I forgot about my quest and made seeing his body of work [besides Titanic] less of a priority. Anyway, I forgot that The Basketball Diaries existed until today when my pal recommended we watch it. The flick is about Jim Carroll -- a dude who went to Catholic high school, was pretty okay at basketball, and got into drugs and then his life went to pot. Then he started a punk band. Leo does an okay job of portraying him, but it's really hard to see him foaming at the mouth from heroin withdrawal. Oh, by the way, Leo is BFFAEFL with Mark Wahlberg in this. Hot!

The best thing about this movie is that it features a shot of Carmel's apartment building in the Bronx! [It's the brown one on the right]. She and Leo breathed the same air. Sigh!

2/5 pizzas

Smithereens (1982)

Uh yes hello? Why didn't anyone tell me about this movie until this summer? Susan Seidelman [a lady, of Desperately Seeking Susan and one directing credit on Sex and the City fame] made this pretty okay movie about punk rock and New York. NEW YORK PUNK IS MY FAVORITE! I didn't even know Richard Hell acted, and he's all up in this movie being a jerk. Also, I watched the extras and saw an interview of his. He didn't age well. I guess he's now part of the Blank Wrinkled Generation.

Also, it seems that Susan Seidelman created Molly Ringwald, because Susan Berman looks just like Molly in this movie, and Molly wasn't in a big movie until 1984. Your welcome, John Hughes.Also, it seems that Susan Seidelman created Molly Ringwald, because Susan Berman looks just like Molly in this movie, and Molly wasn't in a big movie until 1984. Your welcome, John Hughes.

This movie is pretty fun, even though none of the characters have redeeming qualities. The protagonist Wren is really entitled and annoying, but she wears cute Chucks and dresses to make up for it. The deal is that she has left blue-collar New Jersey to move to New York to be a punk star. Sound familiar? Probably not, so click on the below image.

Another nice thing -- the actual band the Smithereens are from New Jersey. Oh hey!

4/5 pizzas

Hannah and her Sisters (1986)

This is my favorite Woody Allen movie after Annie Hall. Not only does it take place in New York, but it features one of my favorite actors [Dianne Wiest]. I would also argue that this is Michael Caine's second-best movie after Muppet Christmas Carol.

I also concluded that Woody Allen's character Mickey Sachs is my favorite role that he plays. I totally can identify with a hypochondriac who only feels better when he watches Duck Soup.

5/5 pizzas

Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

Wait, I have a strange sensation that I've already seen this movie, but with better characters and a more suspenseful story. A murder in New York takes place and voyeurs and snoops solve the crime, and the crime brings the couple closer together? And the villain resembles Raymond Burr. What movie is this? Okay, I'm using a technique called "sarcasm" to relay my disappointment and simultaneous amusement with this Woody Allen movie. Yes, it's great that Woody likes movies so much and that he makes his own movies as an homage to past ones [Rear Window in this case], but really -- at some point maybe you don't actually have a super awesome idea for a movie. Maybe don't make a movie for one year. It's totally okay.

While I thought Rear Window was a better movie, Manhattan Murder Mystery was pretty fun. Its cast features the First Lady of Cinema, Angelica Houston, Alan Alda [feminist], Aida Tuturro and Jerry Adler [both of Sopranos fame]. Also, the last scene of the movie mirrors [get it?] the mirror scene from The Lady from Shanghai. People shoot each other amidst mirrors, and the mirrors reflect scenes from The Lady from Shanghai because it is playing in the movie theater where the shooting is taking place. Rad!

3/5 pizzas

Diggers (2006)

Disappointed. Maura Tierney left ER for this? Sorry, Maura. I had some hopes for this movie, since it was written by my brother-in-law Ken Marino and has some family friends from The State posse in it. Plus, I've always loved Lauren Ambrose, and it's nice to see that sometimes she has work.

Surprise surprise, I was disappointed by a movie that stars Paul Rudd. That NEVER happens. Except when he takes up too much screen time in a movie. The plot was a bit trite [blue collar workers deal with a death] and the dialogue was cliched, corny, and tried way too hard to be sharp. What can I say? I expect more than mediocre when I watch a movie about Lon Gisland. The soundtrack could've been different, too.

2/5 pizzas